Next quarter I am TAing the Operating Systems course at UCSB, which was one of my favorite classes (I even mentioned it here- see junior year), despite it being considered the most difficult required Computer Science course. For our class of ~50 students we had 3 TAs for whom this class sucked the life out of. The class next quarter currently has 39 students enrolled, and I am the only TA, so it’s going to be an adventure to say the least. Fortunately the projects seem much simpler than when I took it so that’s a good sign. I think the projects were simplified due to the struggle that our class had on the projects, which is why I’m writing this. The following is the uncensored (though names shortened) email thread that took place the night our last project was due. This is by far the most hilarious email thread I’ve been a part of, so enjoy. By the way, “How do I end it” was the title of the thread.

Note: V was our TA, Ben Zhao was the instructor and CSIL is the name of the computer lab

DK: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 1:21 PM


I’m in CSIL and all I have is a coke can, a frisbee, a racquetball and about 800 lines of non-working code. My question is: How do I off myself while still passing this class?

I’ve tried swallowing the frisbee, and drowning in coke, but neither have produced the correct output. Please help as the deadline is approaching fast and I need the sweet release.

Thank you,

CW: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 1:33 PM

Place the racquetball in your mouth and bite down while someone slowly poors coke in your nose. Its called “waterboarding” (but with coke) and thanks to the bush administration its now completely legal as long as you consider yourself an “illegal csil combatant”.

or try: kfree(DK);


V: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:50 PM

ok…ur pleas were heard….we are extending the project deadline by a day…so the deadline is tomorrow sametime…

instead of ur cokes,racquetballs and frisbees…try drowning in ur code and biting through the design docs…this, my friend, is called “coding” :)

hav fun,

AL: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:55 PM

How about actually helping us instead of just pushing it back. Some of us make plans and when you guys keep pushing it back it gives an unfair advantage to those who do not have other things to do.

DK: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:56 PM

I appreciate the thought, but I don’t think I or anyone else in the computer lab would like it extended. I was really just making a joke. We just want to be done with it.

Thanks though

SR: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:56 PM

DO NOT extend the deadline, its finals week. just curve it so everyone’s unfinished codes can earn at least a C or C+. I cant be spending another entire day on this assignment. I say we turn in what
we had time for and go our seperate ways, until the demo that is.


PC: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:56 PM

can we please not have an extension?

that post was just a joke
I think that it is not fair to the students that worked to get this project done on time to extend it.

CW: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:57 PM


Ok so I can speak for DK and say that he wasn’t really going to kill himself. That was a joke PLEASE don’t give us an extension. We just want it to end. For the love of god.

We have been in CSIL for 3 days straight and no one wants to be here any longer. Have mercy.


KW: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:58 PM

Thanks V!!
With an extra day I think I can finish. Things are starting to fall into place, just takes a _crapload_ of time.

Thanks a lot.

Me: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:58 PM

I agree for not extending it as well.

Bryce Boe

VW: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 4:58 PM


i don’t think the project should be extended by a day. we already had a last minute extension and that is already messing up other plans. there is no time for another extension. DO NOT extend it!!!!!!!!!!!

CS: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:00 PM

Please V, don’t extend the deadline!! Anyone who is a CE has a large report due on Monday, and most of can’t afford to keep working on this project through Sunday.

S: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:00 PM

V, can we PLEASE not have an extension. It’s finals week and we
have other things we need to concentrate on.

BM: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:00 PM


D: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:00 PM

The original extension was more than enough. If you would have heard the cries of anger in CSIL when this extension was discovered you would have most likely drawn back in fear. Please don’t prolong the
agony, most of us have accepted the fact that we will never finish this project…even if it were extended to next quarter.

V: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:00 PM

ok ok…i understand what u guys are saying..i shot an email to ben and will probly NOT extend it…so till i confirm it pls stop the animosity

ZU: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:01 PM


SG: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:01 PM

Please do not extend (unless you want to give us another week or two) Quarter does not end with this CS project, people have things to do before and during the finals week. No extension! This project will
need to be turned in so we can move on and work on other things!

DK: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:02 PM


ER: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:04 PM

V + rest of CS 170 staff,

I am adamantly opposed to this extension (as well as to the original one for that matter). This extension benefits very few people, mainly those who have the easiest final schedules. For most of us, this is not the case, and we will be forced to cut the project short even more prematurely than before. This is necessary so that grades in our other classes don’t suffer.

The same people made the original “pleas” also likely failed to start the project on time, and/or are simply incapable of completing this project with a reasonable time alotted. Thus, this extension will actually hurt the students that have done their best to go about this project the proper way. I say this even after only being able to start the project on Sunday night because of ECE 152B.

I encourage you to (re)level the playing field and remove this extension.

Thank you,


PP: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:05 PM

Move the deadline up! How about we just all turn in what we have right now and save our Saturday night? Party at Zhao’s place.

AW: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:05 PM

V…. for the sake of jeses, moses, allah, mormon jeses,
DO not extend this deadline….. I have already made plane to be hungover by tomorrow morning.
I dont care about any of this crap right now.

CD: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:07 PM

I am sincerely AGAINST an extension. I have put in ridiculous amounts of time over the last couple days to be done tonight…not to extend it for others. I think it’s pretty unfair.

ML: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:07 PM

Is AW already drunk? assert(typing skills);

V: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:10 PM

NO EXTENSION..just got confirmation from Ben. Lets get it done with by tonite!

KW: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:12 PM

I digress. don’t extend, just curve it. this project takes way too much time. we should have been given 8 units for this class if we’re going to have to be in the lab for 200 hours over the course of the quarter in addition to class + reading + studying.

DK: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:13 PM

/:~> cd /cs/student/DK
/:/cs/student/DK> touch his_balls
cannot touch `his_balls’: Permission denied

PP: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:16 PM

It doesn’t have to compile or work right?

Me: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:16 PM

I think this is more appropriate:
DK:/ cd ../shitcreek -nopaddle

Bryce Boe

DK: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:17 PM

DK:/ chmod 777 my_balls

ML: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:17 PM

I think it’s fair to say that we have officially lost our sanity and will not be able to recover.


DK: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:18 PM

Try now, CW

AW: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:26 PM


Considerable scientific research has shown that a healthy breakfast must include a six pack of corona.

ML: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:28 PM


Me: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:30 PM

I’d be very interested in that data. Is 7 too much, and 5 too few?

Bryce Boe

ST: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:36 PM

I have to agree that sanity has long since left this group. But then again, I think sanity is only a hinderance for those who take this class.

My proof?

ST:-> cd CS170
ST/CS170:-> whatis sanity
sanity: nothing appropriate

AW: Sat, Jun 9, 2007 at 5:43 PM

That’s an excellent question. This study was compiled by the isla vista students education intiative by experimenting on street bums. The results were very conclusive and it was found out that exactly 6 beers (corona extra only) provided enough “feel good factor” to fully enable the test subjects to enjoy their day. However the study recommends 2 jager shots every four hours after consuming breakfast to prolong this feel good factor. or the subject can go to a strip bar. either works




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